Season’s Greetings!
Sitting down to write my holiday letter on Cyber Monday ends up not being such a good idea. Here I am on Tuesday – having gotten the perfect family group gift at a great price – but still staring at a blank page. These letters are a labor of love, heavy on the labor. But, I’m always thankful for the chance to reflect on the past year. As I mentioned in my 2022 letter, sharing our family updates through the years taught me a lot about the kids’ emerging personalities – a window into their future. As they got old enough to read these letters, they were able to see themselves through another person’s lens. Now that they are young adults, the stories remind me of their younger selves. Maybe this is the evolution of parenting – we start out peering through windows searching for hints of their future, until one day we realize we can’t help but remember their past – like a rearview mirror on a bike handlebar. (I hope you’re envisioning the banana seat, bike bell and plastic tassels on your bike like I am!) Despite encouragement from some of you to continue these letters, after 31 years this will be my last. The twins are graduating from college in May and all four will be adulting. That rearview mirror is telling me it’s time. Reminiscing is comforting, like gravity pulling you back down to something secure and known. But, for me, the magic comes from peering through that window like a snow globe, trying to defy the falling snowflakes to catch glimpses of things to come. It’s time for my kids to tell their own stories. They won’t be looking back like I will; they’ll be ringing that bike bell eagerly chasing their unlimited future. (And, yes I did just watch the movie Wicked, thank you for asking.)
Jeffrey is 26 and working as a software engineer at Google Cloud in Austin. He has settled in nicely, enjoying the diverse and outstanding food and music that Austin offers. He loves having our labradoodle, Willa, despite the costs associated with her care. Vet appointments, food, sitters, grooming – it’s an expensive responsibility. (Just be thankful she’s not playing a club sport.) Overall, Jeffrey is doing a great job although the girls complain that he spreads out the grooming appointments a little too much. I hope now he will forgive me for those times he sported a mullet that even his Little League batting helmet could not hide. Kidding aside, Jeffrey and Willa have always had a special bond. When Jeffrey first saw Willa in the litter with her mama, a look of despair came across his face. “We have to take her away from her family???” Since then, Jeffrey has made sure we filled in adequately for her birth family. This fall, Jeffrey traveled with a college friend to Europe for two weeks. They went to Munich, Paris, Loire Valley, and visited his childhood friend who moved back to France. It warmed my heart to see them together again, as I remembered dropping 13 yr old Jeffrey off at the airport to visit Tristan. That summer of exquisite French cuisine might have been the impetus for his love of food and desire to travel in search of it. He came back with countless pictures of food and him eating (I also remember seeing evidence of stumbling upon a nude beach). I’ll step away from that rearview mirror now.
Eva is 24 and working at Bain Consulting in Austin. Currently, she is participating in the Bain externship program. Consultants in their third year leave for six months to gain experience at another company. Many choose to pursue a passion or interest; and Eva wanted to work at a food company. She split her externship into two parts and is currently working at Revolution Foods, a certified B Corp that provides nutritious lunch meals to California charter schools. In January, she will be working at Monterey Mushrooms helping their fresh mushroom business and genetic farming. She is also applying to business schools and is hoping to begin in the fall of 2025. Lest you think Eva is all work and no play; she has found plenty of time to spend with her friends – dinner parties, weekend getaways, and fortunately for us, trips home to Jackson Hole and Scottsdale. She has also learned one of the greatest consulting skills – how to use business travel to her benefit (frequent flyer/hotel points and generous food allowance). Eva is very excited about her next steps, but I know that she is feeling wistful about these upcoming changes. Her two roommates will also be moving on, and she will miss the life she has built and the people with whom she has gotten close. Just remember Eva – the people that come into your life may not be with you forever, but they will be, as Elphaba sang “like a handprint on your heart”.
Marena is 21 and will be graduating from Harvard with an AB in Sociology and Spanish. She will be working at JP Morgan in their Asset Management division in New York City after graduation. Marena is writing her honors thesis on how young professional women (ages 22-25) make early career decisions. She is looking at how these decisions are influenced by ideas of motherhood and family planning. If you know a young woman who fits this category, Marena would love to interview her. They can contact her at 650-704-2380. Marena also took some interesting electives. Some she loved, like Egyptology and others not so much, like her English/writing class on Taylor Swift. (Turns out Marena just likes listening to her music, rather than comparing her lyrics to a Sylvia Plath poem.) These four years with Marena and Vivian at different colleges has been really good for them. My impression is that their academic experiences have been similar, but the different student cultures of their schools have framed their social experiences and interactions. Listening to them talk when they are home during break, I realize how much they benefit from sharing each other’s experiences. Marena’s social events tend to be more formal with cocktail parties and sit down dinners. She said discussing current events and giving your opinion is part of their social fabric. I think Marena has appreciated this – experiencing both the positives and negatives of this more formal social culture. And fortunately, for Marena, she has been able to visit Vivian at Vanderbilt when she’s needed some SEC tailgating.
Vivian is 21 and will be graduating from Vanderbilt this May with a BS in Human Organization & Development and Anthropology. All HOD students are required to fulfill a Capstone Internship (28 hr work week and weekly seminar). Vivian worked this semester at Vibrant Meals, a local meal prep company, and was in charge of their social media, pop up events and redesigning their loyalty program. She had a great experience and her roommates enjoyed the protein balls she brought home for pregaming snacks. One of the true pleasures of having college students, is benefitting from their learning. Both Marena and Vivian have shared things that have been very impactful for me. Vivian recommended a book from one of her Anthropology classes titled “The Latinos of Asia; How Filipino Americans Break the Rules of Race.” It was such an enlightening book and one I could relate to directly regarding racial identity. Vivian had an unforgettable last semester abroad in Florence, Italy. I often have to think twice about where she studied because every weekend she traveled somewhere else (my last count was 12 different cities). Vivian received a return offer from her summer internship and will be working as an Associate at Boston Consulting Group in Austin TX after graduation. Yes, you heard that right – Jeffrey, Eva, and Vivian will all be living in Austin. I thought for sure that Eva and, now, Vivian would eventually become Texas Longhorn fans. But, after Vandy’s exciting football season, I’m confident they will remain true Commodores. I did not see Vivian near the goal post after the Alabama upset win, but I did see her on the field drinking from the Alabama Gatorade coolers.
John and I are four years into enjoying our freedom without kids at home. We are eagerly anticipating another important milestone – writing our last tuition checks. (It’s really a direct debit because physically writing the number and words on a check is too painful.) Vivian and Marena are dreading our moment of “liberation” because come graduation day, their Uber accounts will no longer be attached to our credit card. And they are very sly about using Uber Eats. They already have their food stipend for the semester, so technically they are double dipping. This year we traveled to some of our usual destinations – San Francisco, Napa, Boston, Nashville, Austin, Florida, plus Chicago, Colorado. We also did some fun road trips to see national parks and monuments (Badlands, Devils Tower, Mt Rushmore, Zion, Vermillion Cliffs, Grand Staircase Escalante). I joined John on a business trip to Copenhagen and we went on spring break with Vivian and Marena to Marrakech, Canary Islands, Lisbon, and Florence. And, my favorite things to do – I went to lots of sporting events (Red Sox, Celtics, Bruins, Packers, 49ers, Diamondbacks, SJ Giants, Vanderbilt, U of Texas) and concerts (U2, Eagles, Bruce Hornsby, Mat Kearney, Tanya Tucker, Brothers Osborne). As I was recounting my excitement from one of the concerts to Marena, she paused thoughtfully and said, “Mom, you thrive on collective effervescence.” She said she learned about it in one of her classes. It is a sociological concept coined over 100 years ago that describes the feeling of energy and harmony that people experience when they come together in a big group – a “joie de vivre that manifests when we share moments with each other.” I love this term, and yes, it describes me perfectly. If I peek into that snow globe, I hope to see myself experiencing collective effervescence with all my family and friends in the coming years.
So my last holiday letter comes to an end. Some of you have been receiving them for 31 years, others for the first time, and many of you somewhere in between. Regardless, you have all touched our lives, and I thank you from the bottom of my handprint-covered heart.
Happy Holidays!
With Gratitude and Love,
May, John, Jeffrey, Eva, Vivian, Marena, Willa and Gus
Marena (21), Eva (24), Vivian (21), Jeffrey (26)
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